another moral hangover. fuck.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Quick, to the slutcave!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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