i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
