no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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