it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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