dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
