Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
