we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
