I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
