I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
