yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
