she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize