I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
