When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He passed out mid-signature
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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