There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
