I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
