Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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