sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
