Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
