Banned from zoo.
Again?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we're making bets on your personal life
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
