so explain again why im purple
no
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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