She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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