I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
