He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
