Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
