thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
