the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
