Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
