3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
