her vagine was all disorganized.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
