I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
