First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Randomize
