am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
