after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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