If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
