Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
