One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
