let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
