I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
