Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
