Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
