Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
