Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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