the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
