told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
