Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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