im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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