somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
