last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
