I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
