for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
