I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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