I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
