and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
