i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
